Tell us about yourself
My name is Nicole and I’m responsible for overseeing the accounts payable, accounts receivable and general accounting functions at Interac.
What is some of the work you do on a day-to-day basis?
Two days are never the same for me. While there are some routine tasks such as reviewing and posting invoices, reviewing financials, and resolving issues, there are lots of variation and other activities that also occur. As an organization we have been undergoing an agile transformation which has led to accounting changes, as well as audits. Things are never boring!
What is your favourite part of your job?
There are many parts that I really enjoy. Anything from digging into and resolving discrepancies, to creating spreadsheets, to working on projects that improve efficiency. I also thoroughly enjoy working with the team; it’s so great to work with a group that really cares about each other and the work they do. I feel lucky, I love the work that I do and the people I do it with.
What’s an interesting fact about you?
I love astrology. I heard several astrologers predict that 2020 was going to be a challenging year, and at the time I thought, if they’re right, I’m going to start studying it and I have ever since. I am constantly amazed at how sophisticated of a language it is and how astrology aligns with collective and personal events. 5.
You’ve worked at Interac for 9 years. Can you share more about what comes to mind when you think about your journey at Interac?
It may sound cliché by now, but I can’t help but to think of change, growth, and evolution. When I started, we were around 130 people and now we’re over 700. I was here for the corporate re-structuring in 2018 and now our agile transformation. This has provided me with so many opportunities to learn through working on projects with different teams and on many parts of the finance function. The company provides so many opportunities for us to contribute, connect and show off our creativity. It’s been a lot of fun!
What does Mental Health Week mean to you?
I struggled for years and the worst part of it was the shame and isolation – this week is an opportunity to talk more openly about it. Other people talking about their struggles really helped me feel not so alone in this.
Mental health and mental illness have been a huge part of my life since I was young. I still remember sitting with my mom as a kid after she had her first panic attack. This wasn’t really talked about back then and neither of us knew what was going on. She then developed agoraphobia, severe depression and attempted to take her own life multiple times throughout my 20’s. Being her main support really took a toll on me. I also developed a kind of grief called disenfranchised grief, which is grief that isn’t socially or publicly acknowledged or validated. I had grief over the situation with my mom, multiple losses that weren’t due to death and grief over not having children. I had no clue I was grieving and started to panic in response. All this compounded and I developed a type of trauma called complex trauma which occurs when there’s an ongoing repetitive experience where one feels fear, helplessness and a real or perceived inability to escape. I was becoming increasing dysregulated and hypervigilant, I wasn’t sleeping, and I was experiencing frequent panic attacks and flashbacks. I felt so out of control. I was trying everything and looking everywhere for help and solutions – in both conventional and unconventional places. Although I got some bits of help that got me through, I didn’t get answers and the right help until about five years ago. For many years, I really felt like I was doing something wrong that nothing was working. There were several therapies and supports that contributed to my healing, but two of the most important were somatic therapy and finding communities that shared my grief. Although anxiety can still arise in certain situations, I no longer struggle with any of the other symptoms. Grief is still in my life, and I suspect it will be a companion for life, but now I know how to care for myself when it visits.
What advice do you have for someone who may be struggling with their mental health but doesn’t know where to start?
It’s a hard question to give a simple answer to because ‘mental health struggles’ casts a wide net. It would really depend on the particulars and severity of what the person was struggling with. If someone were in crisis, I would recommend the emergency room at an institution like CAMH. In general, your family doctor is a good place to start both to rule out anything biological, such as hormonal or biochemical imbalances, and as a gateway to other OHIP covered services. I’ve always found it helpful to have someone to talk with. I’ve used our employee assistance program and know others who have as well and found it very helpful. They can provide immediate strategies or thinking through next steps. They’re also great for struggles that develop in response to a challenging event or situation. Trusted friends, mentors, religious and culture figures could also be a great start. One of the most impactful and helpful people for me was a teacher I worked with for several years. She pointed to trauma and grief before any mental health professional did. There are more resources out there than ever before – this can be both helpful and overwhelming.
What advice do you have for people who are looking to be better allies to those living with a mental illness?
Stay humble, listen, and seek opportunities to learn from others. If someone comes to talk with you, thank them for being open. If you’d like to support, ask how you can help but avoid giving advice or suggestions unless asked. When supporting someone, do what you can to take care of your own wellbeing.
I think it’s really important to remember that mental health and mental illness covers a really broad spectrum of experience. I found answers, but many people in my life haven’t found easy answers and continue to live with really challenging symptoms, despite a tremendous amount of effort looking for answers. Others manage through with medications that have challenging side effects and offer limited help. If you’d like to go deeper, examine your own perceptions, discomfort, assumptions, and biases around these topics.
